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Fairport-E.Rochester Post
  • Jesse Murphy: Clicking our lives away

  • I think I might be on the verge of losing my mind with technology. As everything advances in leaps and bounds, it’s hard to keep up, even for someone of the early Generation Y demographic.

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  • I think I might be on the verge of losing my mind with technology.
    As everything advances in leaps and bounds, it’s hard to keep up, even for someone of the early Generation Y demographic.
    Our family didn’t get a new-age computer until I was in junior high, and I didn’t have a cellphone until I started college. I know I’m not alone in this scenario, and many are far more behind than I am, but I’m starting to have trouble keeping up.
    First of all, let me address the text message vernacular. These acronyms are getting a little ridiculous and are spreading not only to Facebook statuses but actual conversations.
    I won’t say any names, but I recently heard someone say “lol” in response to a joke. They didn’t even actually laugh. There is something innately wrong with that.
    Then a few weeks ago, one of my younger sisters posted “lms for a tbh” on her Facebook page. My curious nature couldn’t resist, so I asked. Apparently, it stands for “‘like my status’ for a ‘to be honest.’”
    Further explanation was necessary. I learned that a “to be honest” is someone giving you a reality about yourself. For instance, "you should bathe more often." Wait. There’s more.
    Recently, we gathered with a few friends to cook out. I noticed many times that the majority of people had their faces in their phones. Not a big deal, but the problem is that they were interacting with each other. Why on Earth would you text message someone you are sitting 3 feet away from?
    Now you can play Scrabble and all sorts of classic board games with your friends on devices. How about getting together and playing the game in person?
    Aside from Facebook, there are multiple time-wasters to choose from such as Twitter and Pinterest. For those that don’t know, Twitter is a site where people throw up the random dumb thoughts that pass through their heads. Pinterest announces to the world that you like pictures of cakes, dresses and kittens.
    These sites are a world you can get lost in; they become an alternate reality. Why not just put on the dress and take a kitten to go eat some cake?
    Now to the iPhone. That pocket-sized devil with the face of an angel. A 2010 survey at Stanford found that 41 percent of people would consider losing their iPhone as "a tragedy." They obviously haven't downloaded a dictionary app.
    My beef with the iPhone is the notifications. For some reason, I can’t stand having the little red bubble telling me there is something I must pay attention to. Updates, voicemails, emails, text messages, my turn to play, someone tagged me in a picture, commented on it, wants me to join an event and like a page. I can’t help but click on them all, just so the reminder bubbles go away, if for no other reason.
    Page 2 of 2 - And then, boom. My head just exploded, leaving a wisp of smoke. I am two clicks away from switching back to the brick Nokia phone, Zach Morris-style.
    Not sure how much longer I can take it. I’ve started ignoring new things for the sole purpose of staying afloat in the technology ocean just a bit longer.
    I can see a technology downgrade in my future. To avoid a tech withdrawal, I’ll get out the old Viewmaster and some board games for entertainment. Dusting off the Polaroid can handle the picture situation. My vinyl collection will provide music.
    The more I think about this, the better it sounds. I'll need a typewriter, of course, and lots of stamps and envelopes. Instead of using the Weather Channel app, I'll duck my head outside or listen to the radio.
    A problem I see arising is the fact that this stuff will probably not fit in my pocket. I'll get a Radio Flyer to tote it all around.
    I will get one piece of "modern" technology. Page me if you need to get a hold of me, though I'm pretty sure pay phones have been eliminated from society. Oh well, write me a letter, I'll be the one without brain tumors or carpal tunnel.
    Jesse Murphy is managing editor at the Maryville (Mo.) Daily Forum. He can be reached at jmurphy@maryvilledailyforum.com

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